Unreliability

I do NOT like to depend on others. The feeling of being helpless and at the complete mercy of someone else drives me insane. It makes me feel so small, and it burns me up on the inside knowing that I have the power to handle things, but the person(s) I’m depending on fails me. With that said there are times where I have to depend on others and I understand that. I know how to ask for help and I know my limits when it comes to things. But with other things like finances for example I do not like to depend. I’ve stopped working recently because my dad asked me to. He also said if I stop working he’d pay for my MCC bill (which is the only necessary thing I had to pay for). I was reluctant for some months about the deal because I knew how shady my dad can be (he’d probably argue that he’s completely reliable though). It wasn’t until he got a permit job that I decided to take his offer up. I wouldn’t have to worry about my bill and I’d have time to focus on my 1st job; school. I’ve missed not being able to support myself though. I only work 1 day a week usually and it really stinks to not be able to do the things I use to do. Go shopping, save money for emergencies, buy healthy foods so I can pack lunch, etc. My 2nd payment for my MCC bill is at the end of this week and there have been issues with getting the bill paid. It looks like I will still have to pay for the bill, but this time instead of having a surplus of money to rely on I’m going to have to borrow.
As a result I’m done relying on others when it comes to that type of stuff. I’m goin to pick up a couple days to work and get my stuff together. I planned on writing about “fininicial aid” but it pains me to even speak of it. Why a college needs to know so much finical information about the parent (dad) you DONT even live with makes no sense to me.
So I will leave this issue for another blogpost. When I look at a lot of the issue with my life and others, money is the root of all problems. I wish Earth didn’t have money, because so many adversites and struggles would be alleviated.

~Frazier

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