Monthly Archives: March 2013

The Golden and Dark Months Leading to the Future.

The next couple of months are going to be a plummet to the finish line. There are a lot of great things happening  in the next few months (scholarship notifications, college acceptance, friends getting into their colleges, prom, etc), but there are also a lot of stressful/nerve wrecking things (studying for and taking the AP English test, waiting to hear back from Gates and NYU, deciding where I’m going next year, and finishing up my senior project). With all of these things happening in the next two months I never have a bored day. NEVER. It’s kinda exciting having so many things on my plate, and I can only imagine what my years to come are going to be like. 

A majority of my friends applied to college later than me so they are all starting to hear back from their places now. I get so excited for my friends, I feel like a parent a lot of the times. It’s just that my senior class has been together since 7th grade, and it’s exciting to know that in a couple of months we are leaving to fulfill our dreams and make something out of our selves. All of our 15 years of education has prepared us for this. 

It just hit me last Thursday when I was sitting in staff meeting that I’m going to miss my school. School Without Walls is the first school that I’ve actually stayed with for more than two years. I moved a lot as a child, from different parts of Ohio, to different parts of Florida  to finally Rochester. This constant moving made me feel as though I was never really permanent in Rochester and that I’d move again. Well that feeling is finally start to settle as I look back and see that I’ve been in Rochester for almost five years and have made such close relationships with my peers, I will never forget this place or the people I’ve met. 



Like Rice at a Wedding (NWW#3)

So the news paper came out today, and they sold like hot cakes! I have no extras left this is the first.

I got a lot of positive feedback but people are so verbal and critical with their judgements. It’s irritating. Although some of it is good stuff, there’s a lot of bums complaining about things they’d like in NWW. By complaining I mean whining and getting an attitude like they’ve been wronged. I try my best to turn these situations into lemonade by telling these certain people to join NWW.
“Be the change you want to see in the world,” Gandhi said, and I’ve been throwing this quote and idea around like rice at a wedding. I’m happy with the way NWW is coming along, and each issue is growing I believe. Blog Viewers, what were your favorite parts of NWW # 3.


Germs. Faster than the speed of light.

Came in the school healthy, prepared and well. Left queasy, tired, and ill-like. Germs spread so fast, and I wish I could travel in a bubble everywhere. I don’t know if it’s because I ate so unhealthy over the weekend (ate out everyday) or if it’s because I’ve been getting a little under 4 hours of sleep lately, regardless, I don’t feel well.
I took a nap and hopefully I’m not all nausea for my field trip tomorrow. I’m going to Nazareth with my global issues class for this global citizens convention. Unfortunately I have to miss the first hour or so, because I can’t afford to miss a day of MCC. I seriously get behind and I’m trying to keep an A average in that class.
Update on my senior project: the 3rd issue is going to be delivered to the school tomorrow by Sarah Crupi (she mines well be my community expert). The paper had a major delay due to power outages, and just time management, but it will be out tomorrow! Alright back to my to-do list of things.

Night world!


Hope conquers Fear

I had a bit of worrying today. So I’m a finalist for the Gates schoalrship which entails a full tuition scholarship to wherever I want. I was so excited, it’s like my hope of actually being able to go to NYU if I get in. Being a finalist I had to get a lot of forms from Jamie, one of them being my GPA form. I have a 3.6 (B+) and although my friends keep telling me that’s good, I know I’m competing against a lot of smarts kids who probably have 4.0 (A+) and up. I just feel like this is a blemish on my record. It’s just that, this opportunity means so much, it literally will decide a huge part of my future and I wanted everything to be as perfect as it could be. I kinda wish our school gave GPAS from the beginning of our high school careers, so when we actually get our GPAS senior year we aren’t all surprised at what we get. I guess I would of tried harder to have as close as a 4.0 as I could have.
Regardless, there’s nothing I can do about it and I’m going to pray that God makes a way for me to afford where I want to go rather I get the scholarship or not. Also I’m going to stop worrying and just leave it all to Him. Tymoni, a friend of mine told me:
“You do a lot ontop of your studies and besides you made it this far in the competition you’ll make it” [PP]. Her words were true, but the sprits of worry and fear are so invasive and so leech-like, that at times I can’t help but fall victim to these sins. God says “Do not fear” 365 times in the bible. One reminder for each day. I fall to worry/fear a lot, but now I see why God reminds us so many times. We are all weak in spirit and need his encouragement, his word, and reminders to keep us on the straight and narrow.

Blog readers, rather you pray or not, please speak positivity and life over my college/financial situations.

For God says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” (Proverbs 18:21).


Good News

It’s like that letter you’ve been waiting for in the mail box.
That last slice of cake in the refrigerator.
That unexpected dollar in your pocket.
The first day of snow.

It’s like a windy summer day.
Loose, wild, and free.

It’s like a hug when your feeling down.
Your heart lifted off the ground.

Good news can make everything seem perfect, even when it’s not.


Frome Men to Women

I believe a man should be a man, and I believe a woman should be a woman. Within society there are these stereotypes and double standards on men and woman. Specifically men.
In my advance Literature class we’re reading Ethan Frome and as we were having a great discussion about the book, the same critique came upon the main character Ethan. That he was to feminine, and lacked “manliness” because he was weak, and played both the husband and wife in the relationship. Now I agree that men should be the head of the house, should be the provider, and should be the foundation for the house. But from the group conversation I got this unison assumption that Ethan was weak, thus he was the female of the relationship. I found this odd, the conclusion was that since Ethan is weak he is considered the woman? This coming from people who would in a blink of an eye defend the strength of woman. They were creating a double standard for men, and subsequently downgrading woman.
This contradicting outlook really got me thinking about what it is to be a man. Society definitely has this idea that men should be strong, tough, etc, but there are also other assumptions. I’ll place them in list form

Men should be; strong, tough, rigid, not share emotions as openly, willing to fight for what they believe in, willing to back down anyone who comes at them wrong, protecting, not interested in feminine related topics, inclined to sports, less talkative then woman, not caring about the aesthetics of things, like the outdoors, the dominate one in the relationship, not weak or passive aggressive, woman crazed, etc.

The list could go on and on, and I agree with some of the “characteristics of a male,” but I feel like the stereotypes are very, limiting. A stereotype becomes a problem when someone says you are not something because you do not fit the standards. This is what I mean by limiting. Making others feel wrong or out of place because they don’t meet the general stereotypes of men. I feel as though this is not something talked about often. It’s that half-lit light bulb in the room that everyone recognizes, but no one bothers to adjust or fix, because it’s assumed that it’s shining at full power. It’s not until someone comes along and tweaks the bulb that it shines twice at bright, and people begin to recognize that there was a problem with the light bulb in the first place. If the standards for men are okay, why do so many men leave their kids, why are so many men in jail, and why do so many men get in physical altercations, some leading to death, and why do so many men cheat? I believe this is what I’m going to write my slam poem about. I don’t want to come off as a victim, as I sort of did in my group piece “open insecurities.” I want to be almost as an outsider looking in, or a person who is simply questioning the norm.

Besides all the standards society places on us, I believe this is the one thing every person regardless man or female should do:

“And you must love the Lord God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”- Mark 12:30-31 (NLT)

Would stero types be such an issue if we were to all love each other. Would things so trivial as, gender, race, stereotypes, and ideas, matter if we were all interconnected and not so divided?