Feeling Appreciated

So I love and dislike working at my job. I enjoy making money, I like meeting new people and building relationships, and like being independent, but I don’t like working late, feeling tired, and being in a nursing home all the time; it can really get down on a guy. Not only that but the floor I work on have some really crabby residents. With those crabby residents come the sweetest elderly people though. It’s such a catch 22.
Today though I walk in and I had a card waiting for me. It was from the CEO of the Jewish home of Rochester. He said a resident on the floor I worked on was praising me and just saying how good of a worker I am and how I always meet the resident’s crabbiness with joy. I found out from my nursing manager that the CEO never received a call for a hospitality aid (my position) so it was a big deal. Inside my card was a thank you note and two movie tickets for Regal!
This made my day. Knowing that your appreciated, especially when it’s unexpected makes your whole world better.

~Frazier

A Gracious Thank You

A gracious thank you to the Democrat and Chronicles. Jane just told me that the D&C will take up the publication of the rest of the News Without Walls Issues!

~Frazier

Power Outage

A journalist worst nightmare. Laboring over their digital creation for hours to have all their work deleted, because they didn’t save it and the power went out while they were working.
My case was no where as severe as this, but I definitely learned something this morning. ANYTHING can happen. Had I not come to school yesterday to work on the paper and just waited to work on everything Friday I would of had no paper for the January Issue.

Life Lesson: Set a deadline before your deadline.

I’m not complete with this months issue yet, but at least a majority of it is done.

This will serve as a good reminder for future issues.

~Frazier

Faced With Choices

So today was day two of working on NWW. I defenititly got more done today, so that’s exciting. My biggest problem is not having enough room for all the things I want inside of NWW! Only 6 pages in the paper, and everything has to be tightly packed, but neat. I’m stoked for the 12 page issue to come out in April. That’s going to be heaven to have so much space to work with. For now though, the struggle is real. I feel bad, because I wasn’t able to include a lot of articles in January’s issues, but then again I dot feel bad, because the articles I didn’t include we’re lacking in content and irrelevant to this issue. So eh, what can I do about it?
I just wrote an article about the inauguration trip and I feel like a real journalist! Erica gave me the idea to write it today, but since it was so short notice I didn’t think I’d be able to do it by tomorrow. After calling students up and interviewing them over the phone, and piecing together the trip without actually being there, I had the whole thing done in an hour! I just need a quote from Wasa. I felt pressed for time and loved the rush of piecing together information to form a coherent and well-together story.
This will defenititly be one of my memorable moments in my senior projet process.
I was at school till 5 today, and with not having classes this week only focusing on my senior project an college stuff, I feel like a real journalist working for the News Without Walls company. It’s pretty exciting. Tomorrow I finish up the Janurary issue and will have it edited by Shakeriah (our new editor) if I have time I’ll have another editor look at the paper.
I’m so glad I chose this project, at times I really want to push all the paper, software, and mess out the window, but it’s making me grow so much and I’m starting to see the range of things I can actually accomplish when I put my mind to it.
Honestly I wouldn’t be able to do this without the help of EVERYONE at SWW, they really are the ones who make NWW possible; I’m just the vessel used to create it.

~Frazier

That Time of the Month

So I started my college algebra MCC class today and it was pretty good. I don’t like waking up early though. I stayed ar school today to work on the News Paper and it brought buckets of stress upon my life. I defentily need to create a better work schedule for NWW. I think I’m over thinking the news paper and am jumping ahead of myself but I want NWW to be even more creative. With that said I’ll be back to school Thursday and Friday to work on the paper (I’m only able to work on it at school). I’m thinking about contacting Jane to set up an InDesign tutorial with, so that I can fully grasp the program that I’m using. Other than that, I’m tired of my senior project, and it’s not even march yet! Hahha. I’m gonna blame my stress on “my time of the month” (the time of the month where I have to piece the NWW articles together and meet my monthly deadline). May not have classes this week, but it sure feels like it.

~Frazier

College Update – January

So my college applications have been complete since the end of November, I applied to 8 colleges.

New York University

University of Rochester

St john fisher

Hofstra University

Nazareth College

Wagner College

Buffalo State College

MCC

They’re in order of 1st choice(s) to last choice. My top choice is either NYU or U of R. What will be the deciding factor in where I go is finances so I’ve been applying to scholarships like crazy lately. I’m praying I’ll be apply to afford wherever I chose to go. So far though I’ve been accepted to Buffalo state, St John Fisher and MCC. Next moth is going to be the “boom boom” month for college acceptance letters. I’ll hear back from Hofstra the 1st week of February, I hear back from the U of R around the 15th, I hear back from Wagner at the end of February, and I hear back from Nazareth around March 1st. So I really pumped to start hearing from those places soon. Also I start to get financial aid letters next month which is what’s going to be the real chestnut cracker in my college process. Lastly I hear from NYU April 1st, the day before my 18th birthday (what a birthday gift, hahaha).

Oh, and Mar- I should find out if I’m a finalist for the Gates scholarship in March. Hopefully all of your recommendations and nominations forms wont go to waste, hahaha.

~Frazier

Sometimes You Have To Let Go

I feel a little foolish now that I look back at it. Before I moved to Rochester I started a relationship with a girl that lasted for 3+ years. We were long distance, but we both decided we were going to go to college in New York State so we looked forward to that. Summers and holiday breaks were another time we both got to see each other so it wasn’t completely unbearable. Eventually, our relationship came to an end when the whole long distance thing became to much. Crushed and emptiness soon followed the break up. She was my first “real” girlfriend, and it was a long relationship at that. Time passed and after arguments, periods of silence, and regret, we decided to stay friends. Even if we weren’t together I thought, we were still best friends. I thought we’d keep mutual contact throughout the rest of our High school career, and maybe just maybe we’d get back together in the future. I was wrong. Not to many months after breaking up she found a new boyfriend. I can’t say I blame her for moving on, but it still hurts regardless of how I justify it. After so many years she had moved on to a new guy, and even then I still thought we’d remain friends. Well, an ex boyfriend does not make a good best friend in the eye of the new boyfriend. After some rather intense disputes, and conflicts among the love triangle there was a time of silence among my ex and I. After so long though I STILL thought friendship could be mutual among the both of us.

For a while it worked, things stayed cordial, and it was almost how things used to be. There was only one difference; I wasn’t sought after. By that I mean, I’d be the one sending calls and texts a majority of the time, and she wouldn’t bother contacting me even if months or more had passed. My phone calls were not a priority to respond to, and I was scooted to the back burner of her life. At first I thought she just didn’t want to talk to me anymore, but she’d always say that she was just “really busy”. It worked for a while, I understood we were both busy people, but then I started to wonder. Howe busy are you that you cant respond to a phone call in over a month? How busy are you that you can’t send me a text message explaining that you’re currently busy and will get back to me shortly? It wasn’t until Friday that I finally realized I was not wanted anymore. While talking to her on the phone, I wondered why she seemed so absentminded and distracted I wondered why I kept hearing her giggle randomly and act as if she wasn’t very interested in the conversation.Her boyfriend was at her house with her. I felt pangs of irritation at this realization I must look super pathetic talking to my ex while her new boyfriends pleases and amuses her in person. I gathered myself after realizing this and put on the best cheerful tone I could, “I’ll go then, and won’t interrupt your guys quality time.” I hung up my phone and just stared at it for a long half an hour.

I finally understood After all this time, it really is not possible for two people to stay close after breaking up. I thought I’d be able to pull it off, that we’d be friends all the way up old age. That we’d reminisce over our childhood, and we would be glad when we both go married to our new lovers and had kids. Sadly, life does not work out like a fantasy, or even a nice movie. Reality can be harsh, and not what we want to deal with. I concluded that I am not going to contact her anymore. If she wants to speak to me she’ll call me, but I have to just forget about that part of my life.

 

~Frazier

Unreliability

I do NOT like to depend on others. The feeling of being helpless and at the complete mercy of someone else drives me insane. It makes me feel so small, and it burns me up on the inside knowing that I have the power to handle things, but the person(s) I’m depending on fails me. With that said there are times where I have to depend on others and I understand that. I know how to ask for help and I know my limits when it comes to things. But with other things like finances for example I do not like to depend. I’ve stopped working recently because my dad asked me to. He also said if I stop working he’d pay for my MCC bill (which is the only necessary thing I had to pay for). I was reluctant for some months about the deal because I knew how shady my dad can be (he’d probably argue that he’s completely reliable though). It wasn’t until he got a permit job that I decided to take his offer up. I wouldn’t have to worry about my bill and I’d have time to focus on my 1st job; school. I’ve missed not being able to support myself though. I only work 1 day a week usually and it really stinks to not be able to do the things I use to do. Go shopping, save money for emergencies, buy healthy foods so I can pack lunch, etc. My 2nd payment for my MCC bill is at the end of this week and there have been issues with getting the bill paid. It looks like I will still have to pay for the bill, but this time instead of having a surplus of money to rely on I’m going to have to borrow.
As a result I’m done relying on others when it comes to that type of stuff. I’m goin to pick up a couple days to work and get my stuff together. I planned on writing about “fininicial aid” but it pains me to even speak of it. Why a college needs to know so much finical information about the parent (dad) you DONT even live with makes no sense to me.
So I will leave this issue for another blogpost. When I look at a lot of the issue with my life and others, money is the root of all problems. I wish Earth didn’t have money, because so many adversites and struggles would be alleviated.

~Frazier

Lowest Point

Today I almost let myself sink into the overwhelming emotion of giving up.
A friend once told me that every student at one point must ‘fail’ in their life. That they must reach a low point in their career, but it is a necessary point because after that failing moment you will rise higher than before. A lot of students experience this moment in college, because they are so use to excelling in High school but in college they begin to fail. It’s best to experience your low moment earlier on so that you have all the time to pick yourself up from that moment and grow.
I’ve had my low moment. Particularly in English. I’m not use to not doing well on so many consecutive assignments and honestly it’s disheartening. I’m use to doing good. That’s it, real simple. Check plus, A plus, star, happy face, whatever you want to call it. Now I’m getting marks that are making me question my comprehension in the subject. After getting home from school today I felt in a slump until I started to occupy myself. While working on other things I began to think about my current state, and told myself not to beat myself up so much. Easier said than done. But I realized its not the end of the world if I’m not passing exceedingly. That’s something I’m afraid to say aloud. It’s okay if I’m not receiving stellar marks? My years at SWW though has taught me this. To learn from your mistakes and not focus on getting the high mark, but understanding what I’m doing and growing from it. I think this is one of the greatest things I can take to college with me. Recognition and self improvement. I was a step from falling in the abyss of insecurity, but after some self-encouragement I feel, well, encouraged!

~Frazier

Keeping My Room Clean

Friday night I went to church and as I was sitting in the pews I began to reflect on my life. The pastor compared our lives to our room. When it’s clutter free, we just feel happy and want to reside in it. When it’s dirty we really don’t want to do anything but sleep in it. Thinking about my own room; it’s always dirty. I’ll clean my room and no matter how long or hard I clean it, it gets back dirty in little to no time. I figure it’s because I share a room. My brother’s side of the room is always a mess; it’s junky, cluttered, and he’s sloppy. Even when I clean my side up nice the room never has that “clean” appearance, because a large portion of the room is always a mess.
After thinking about this I realized my room is like my own spiritual life. I can try as hard as I want to keep myself pure and clean in the inside, but if I’m sharing my heart with someone/something else (such as social media, desires, technology, or if I harbor impurities) ill never truly be clean.
15 days into the new year and 8 days into my fast and I’m striving for a de-cluttering in my life. The first step is recognition of anything in my life that may get more attention than God, then I need to remove it completely. January goals.

~Frazier